The Great Indian Wealth
JOKE OF THE DAY
Posted by: Nakul V.
One Sardarji got an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. Sardarji had never flied before and hence was quite excited although tense.
Once he boarded the plane, a BOEING 707 Sardaji started jumping in excitement,jumping from seat to seat and shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.
He forgot all about the surroundings and the shouting reached the cock-pit.
Irritated by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted 'BE SILENT! '.
There was a pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody was? looking at the Sardarji and the angry Pilot.
Sardarji stared at the Pilot in silence for a moment and the next moment was shouting,
'OEING!???? OEING!!????????? OEING!!!?? OE...'
Posted by: GOWD (firstname.lastname@example.org)
*"Don't work without keeping targets, don't keep targets with out meaning" *
*One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources
Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in
heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. *
* "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though,
it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once
had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure
what to do with you." *
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman. *
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders. What we're going to do is let you
have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever
one you want to spend an eternity in." *
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said
the woman. *
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an
elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. *
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green
of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and
standing in front of her were all her friends - dressed in evening gowns
and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they
talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at
night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and
lobster dinner. *
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she
had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good* *
time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.* *
Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. *
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found
St. Peter waiting for her. *
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. *
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the
harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours
were up and St. Peter came and got her. *
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you
must choose your eternity," *
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd
say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a
better time in Hell." *
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went
down-down-down back to Hell. *
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a
desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were
dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in
sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. *
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and
had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my
friends look miserable." * *
The Devil looked at her smiled and said ... ..
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an employee." *
Posted by: GOWD (email@example.com)
*CLASSIC DEFINITIONS *
1.Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and
a woman gains her master
4. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
5. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water-power ...
6. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
7. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.
8. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you
have never felt before.
9. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
10. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
11. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
12. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
13. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
14. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
15. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
16. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls
into a river.
17. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet."
18. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead
of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
19. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
20. Father : A banker provided by nature.
21. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
22. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
23. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
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